For believers, courtship is a time for prayer, planning and getting to know your spouse to be better before marriage. It’s not a time to start having and granting sexual liberties. The consequences of premarital sex are grave that’s why singles especially believers are strongly advised to stay away from it. Many good Christians who started their courtship well have ended up committing sexual immorality because they were not careful during the period. They created a door way which the enemy exploited. If you are interested in glorifying the Lord during your courtship by avoid sexual immorality during the period, this post will help you. Here are 10 way to avoid sex during your courtship:
- Don’t stay behind closed doors alone
When you visit your fiance, don’t stay behind closed door alone with him. If you must be behind closed doors, go with a friend or relation. Let your meeting be in an environment where people can see you like restaurant, eatery, park, church hall etc.
2. Do not lie/sit on the bed
Some randy men set a trap for women by making sure that there is no chair in their room, only a bed. So any one that visits has no other option but to sit on the bed. Do not fall for this trap. When you discover this, excuse immediately and stay outside.
3. Avoid pet names
Resist the temptation of calling your fiance or fiancee pet or romantic names at this stage. When do so you stir up emotions of sexual love. Songs of Solomon says do not stir up love until it pleases (Sons of Sol. 2:7), in other word until the time is right. You have enough time to call him or her pet names when you are married, so refrain from it at the moment.
4. Avoid petting or body contact
During your courtship avoid petting or body contact. Even if both of you intended at the beginning not go beyond petting, immediately you start, it will be difficult to stop. As you begin, as some point a time you will loose control and find yourself doing things you didn’t intend to do. So don’t start what you have no intension to finish.
5. Set Boundaries
At the beginning of the courtship, it is important and your spouse to be set boundaries. You should agree on what is allowed and what is not. You set time boundaries too. That is time beyond which you are not expected to be visiting.
6. Do not pass the night in in-laws house.
If your husband is going with you to visit his parents or vice versa, you should not spend the night in that house, unless you are going alone to visit them. Your husband to be should arrange for a place to lodge you for the night.
7. Avoid sex chat and nude pictures
Like I said before, you are yet to be married to him. So taking snapshots of your of nakedness and sending to him through your phone or getting involved with sex chatting at this point is considered to be sexual immorality which you must avoid. The Bible commands us to abstain from all appearance of evil (1st Thessalonians 5:22) and that God has not called us unto uncleanness but unto Holiness (1st Thessalonians 4:7).
8. Avoid “praying” and ‘’studying the Word’’ in a secluded place
Doing this amounts to doing the right thing at the wrong time and place. When you do, Satan takes advantage of the two of you and you see yourselves doing things you did not bargain for.
9. Do not visit wearing seductive dressing
Whenever you visit your fiancé ensure you dress in a way that doesn’t expose any part of your sensitive parts. When you do so, you create unnecessary temptations for him. Because men area easily moved by what they see. So avoid skimpy clothes, mini skirts, skin-tight trousers, low neck clothes and so on when visiting him. Modesty in dressing must be maintained through your courtship
10. Avoid doing House Chores for him
You are not yet married. Therefore you are under no obligation to do house chores for him. Don’t put yourself under unnecessary temptation.
Courtship is not yet marriage and as such, the Lord frowns at any form of sexual activity during the period. So it’s not the time to start giving or taking sexual liberties. Avoiding situations that will compel you to do will help a lot. Have you started courtship and facing challenges remaining pure while it lasts? Feel free to share your experiences with us.